…..my upbeat has hit a downbeat and some discordant notes. But that’s OK. The outside weather is matching my inside mood in some ways. Rainy, trees blowing and bending but green shoots and buds, things are growing despite the grey skies.
I was working on getting down into my wants, inspired by a challenge on The Wilderhood (A group for students and friends of Effy Wild), before I was ill; I tried hard to get stuck back in last night and for one of them ended up with a page that is unlike me, or my recent pages…..it’s sitting opposite my last new moon painting of 2 seahorses and all it’s symbology.
Sheila Na Gig are not a symbol I normally would draw or like but somehow, it is what came up and out. Underneath is a heap of journalling and it’s all watercolour, coloured pencil, neo-colours and white paint pen. Maybe it’s because I was thinking of new starts, bringing new life into things….maybe it’s because of the disconnect I feel with my own body and wanting to change that-she seems happy and comfortable in her skin after all.
Maybe it’s the feeling betrayed by my body breaking and not working how it should. Maybe it was she word open that kept coming up for me, and connection. I’m not sure and I wasn’t sure about sharing the picture either. I know I ‘hid’ a similar symbology in my seahorse painting, in the shapes I used, the sapling and more. I know that the process of journalling, writing and drawing led to a feeling of calm, a change within me that I have every hope will grow and become the embodiment of this want. So today I want to retreat a little, to curl up, to watch the world go by.
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